Every argument has two questions hiding in it. Was I right? Was I true? You can win the first and fail the second. Most fights are lost on tone, not facts.

Before your next disagreement, split it in two. One line for what you got wrong. One line for what you got right. Own the first out loud. Then hold the second.

Which fight are you still defending because you're right, when the apology you owe is about how you said it?

Tomorrow's issue: when to apologize, when to stand your ground, and why a reader says it's both. Hit reply with the fight you're stuck in.